Humiliation to Humility

Aristotle said, “Knowing oneself is the beginning of all wisdom.”

Lately, I’ve been reflecting on my leadership (life) journey and through this reflection, I am learning a great deal about myself.

The shift from Humiliation to Humility - one of the most powerful tools that shaped me as a leader. 

In 1998, I hit rock bottom. I nearly died from excessive drug and alcohol use. Although I had been to rehab the previous year, I relapsed shortly after discharge because I failed to follow the recommendations—I thought I knew best. As hard as I tried, I could not outthink this disease.

When I finally realized I couldn't fix my broken brain with my broken brain, I faced a critical decision: end my pain or confront it head-on. Defeated but not dead, I was consumed by the shame and humiliation of failure—something I had never experienced. I chose to live and face the battle ahead. 

When I made that choice, the humiliation I faced shifted to humility. 

As I got better, I became inspired to live my best life. I started with 12-step recovery groups and learned to take suggestions; after all, I didn’t trust my own best thinking.  What did I have to lose?

Working with a mentor, I dove into the recovery program. It had worked for him, perhaps it could work for me. I was out of ideas on how best to heal.  I began to understand how resentments and fear hijacked my brain and learned to identify my unhealthy relational patterns. This work dramatically increased my self-awareness, enabling me to choose healthy coping mechanisms instead of alcohol when triggers occurred.

Addiction remains ingrained in my neural pathways, always waiting for reactivation. To avoid opening these pathways—a game of “Russian Roulette” —I abstain from all mind-altering substances. Through continued work in 12-step groups and mindfulness techniques practiced consistently over many years, I have successfully bypassed old patterns and forged new, healthy neural pathways.

Accessing these new parts of my brain unlocked fresh energy, fueling a new level of creativity and a passion for living my best life. I had been graced with a second chance—a rare opportunity to reinvent myself—and I took full advantage of this energy.

My life began to come together. I learned to be present. I felt myself growing and improving. I also embraced my humanness, accepting that self-actualization is a continuous journey, not a final destination of perfection. I found fulfillment in this constant pursuit of self-improvement.

I humbly recognized the need to admit my shortcomings and actively seek to overcome them. I had to become teachable and adopt a growth mindset. It hasn’t always been a smooth path; I made plenty of mistakes.

The growth truly began when I shifted from feeling humiliation to embracing humility.  A shift that I continue to practice regularly. 

This mindset shift ultimately became the most powerful tool I utilized as a leader.

#theadventurecontinues #anythingispossible #sober #Ihaveadream #changemaker #OralHealthIsHealth #thinkdifferent #PrioritizeWellness #theygolowIgohigh #OneSixtyOne #biko