I was talking with a newcomer this morning. He reminded me of how hard early recovery is. We come in with so many problems that, in our minds, think should go away as we get sober.
"The Jellinek Curve" is a great illustration of our downward spiral. The left side describes the downward spiral as we start to exhibit signs of alcoholism. Many of these events happen under the veil of denial and self deception as consequences start to occur.
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| The Jellinek Curve |
The loop at the bottom is a place I was stuck in for 14 months. Many people are there for longer. Many people don't ever climb out of it. Firmly resolving to be done was always countered by a decision to drink yet again.
The bottom is no fun.
As we move to the right on the curve, our lives start to improve. As runners, we all know it takes work to go up the hill. Strenuous work. My life didn't get better just because I stopped. It got better because because I put my own best judgement aside and took direction. I can't fix my broken brain with my broken brain so I choose to not do it alone. I took direction from people who had what I wanted. They were happy, they were sober and they seemed to be living a good life. Three things I couldn't figure out on my own.
On the far right, the graph doesn't flatten out. The upward slope implies that there is a life that has infinite possibilities. Yours to create and define. I was locked up for so many years in my addiction. Recovery has afforded me choices that I didn't have when active in my addiction. I choose to live my best life today - one day at a time.
I hope this helps clarify some things. If you are struggling, please reach out. We are all rooting for you!
